Hold on Magnolia to that great highway moon…

Bwaaaaah

I feel this is gonna be long. Or just short and intense or something. I dont know.. Just like my life is right now. Bleeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I'm so fucking sick of completely everything right now. I feel that I can't continue like this much longer.. My happiness and self confidence has gone up and down sooo much during this past, almost, year now. But it feels like I'm taking the final attack from that big heavy-weight champ right now, and I'm almost falling down, without being able to get back up again. FUCK! I hatttttttttttttte it :( There's definitely someone up there who hates me so much so he lets me be happy for a while, and then just brings me down to a all new low all the time..

You build me up
To bring me down
You build me up
So you can mess around
You build me up
To bring me down
You build me up
So you can mess around

The Datsuns - You build me up (To bring me down)

I should be enjoying this friggin summer, not sit here and fucking cry.

I hate the situation I'm in, and I hate myself for being in it and not being strong enough to get myself out of it.

I've never had a problem going to the beach, no matter how I've looked. No problem when i was a fat kid, of course no problem when i got older and much more thin and no problem during these past years after I quit the handball and got a little bit heavier.. Until fucking now. I've always been comfortable with the way I look, never cared about what people thought of me. People thinking those kinda things wouldn't be worth getting to know anyway. Until now..

Doesn't get easier to see people kissing and looking like they're happier than ever wherever you look either...

Fuck. =(